The Picky to Persuadable Method
Broccoli...Yummy, Mommy!
Make feeding less stressful by becoming a mealtime matchmaker for your Small Fry!
The core of the Picky to Persuadable Method is focused “The division of responsibility” at mealtime for parents and kids. Parents decide what is served and when, and your child decides how much they eat without pressure or force from the meal that is served. Each person in your family may be changing the trajectory of how they behave at mealtime, but with time, it will become a less stressful and rewarding approach to new foods.
Remember, the core of this method is to make food a FUN and an inclusive process which respects your child’s decisiveness and does not include unnecessary force or pressure.
No child will learn to love a new food if they are forced to try it, but they will also never learn to like something new if it’s never put in front of them.
Keep in mind, unfamiliar ingredients (and particularly vegetables of all kinds and varieties) are ingrained in kid's DNA to be naturally suspect. It's been my experience that by engaging kids in the cooking process to see, smell, chop, and taste new ingredients, they somehow become less foreboding.
Cedar plank salmon, roasted brussel sprouts, and quinoa salad- It's what's for dinner!
One more note: The Picky to Persuadable method is for children who have been allowed to be picky for preference or convenience reasons; children who have sensory processing challenges related to food, or any other medically relevant diagnosis related to eating should check with their doctor before embarking on this journey.
If you can hang in there with me through some initial challenges, the rewards far exceed the effort! In the long-term mealtime will be less of a struggle, but the real gift you are giving your children is the confidence to be unafraid of the unfamiliar and nurturing a foundation of self-reliance. Not to mention, gaining what I like to call “Culinary Capital”, an investment that will help your kids navigate thru their future business, social, and familial gatherings.
The Picky to Persuadable Method boils down to a few key points:
1. First, have the entire family commit to The Politeness Policy.
Read it, sign it, and put it on your fridge, or some other visible area to establish an easy reminder that your whole family is in this change together. When parents and kids understand the new mealtime structure and expectations, mealtime becomes less of a battle. And remember, you’re the adult! How you decide to feed your family is a parenting decision, and not up to your kids to decide, just like I’m sure you don’t have them weigh in on screen time rules or other expectations for your household.
2. Make a time commitment, and stick to it.
From my experience, kids can smell that blue box of mac n cheese in the back of your pantry, and if they know holding out for 10-15 minutes at mealtime will breakdown their parent, they will holdout everytime! Giving up after a few less than pleasant meals won’t yield any long lasting results. It takes 21 days to change a habit for an adult, so evaluating your family’s progress after 30 days is a good place to start. And celebrate even the smallest victories along the way! I remember the first time my daughter ate a French fry that had little bits of parsley on it and me thinking "Wow, her palate really is changing!"
There’s no hiding your eating habits from your kids
3. Honestly evaluate your family’s starting place.
Do you model good eating habits for your kids? Why would your kids try brussel sprouts with gusto if Dad won't eat them? Do they hear “Oh, are you sure you are going to like that?” when looking at unfamiliar food choices, or are they encouraged to explore the yummy and unique? New foods need to feel like an exciting and FUN experience, so making a commitment to model this behavior is key to changing how your kids interact with food. They see everything we do!
4. Be “considerate” but don’t “cater” to picky habits
Each meal can include one “safe” food you know your child will eat, but everyone is offered the same foods at dinner time every night. I’m here to help banish the short order cook from your home! That doesn’t mean you need to put together the cover of Gourmet magazine day after day, but if you’re in a pinch and nuked nuggets and frozen peas are looking like the best choice for dinner, then the entire family should eat the same meal. Conversely, if you and your partner are looking to order some Chinese takeout, include your kids in the fun.
Got a French Fry Lover? Try my Roasted Strawberry Balsamic Ketchup with Copy Kat McD's French Fries as a first recipe
5. The first few meals should be a homemade version of what “safe food” they love to establish trust in the kitchen.
Don’t take a kid who eats only blue-box mac-n-cheese and serve him sushi and frog legs the first night unless you want a harder battle from the get go! Baking tends to be a child’s natural first choice when starting in the kitchen, so its not surprising that making homemade versions of pop tarts and ding dongs is the starting off point for your kid’s new culinary journey (even if it seems a bit counter-intuitive). Changes to your child's core eating habits won't happen overnight but will evolve over time if you can take small steps. Can’t decide what to make first? I have ideas for you!
6. Cut out snacking 2 hours before mealtime:
Kids are like little Neanderthals; they naturally eat when they feel hungry, not because its mealtime. Pediatricians will tell you to avoid snacking about 2 hours before mealtime to ensure your kids feel hungry enough to eat. If they absolutely have to eat in that two-hour window, let them pick an unexciting snack that offers fiber, fat, and protein like: crudite and hummus, yogurt and fresh fruit, cheese and deli meat roll-up, or allow them to nibble of your cutting board!
The sweet anise smell of fresh basil is intoxicating even to your Small Fries!
7. Empower their culinary point of view and curiosity.
Yes, I believe your child had a valid opinion about what foods look yummy, and it should be fostered and respected! Let your kids pick a few recipes each week; you could start by sharing my Pinterest boards of the top kid-friendly food categories or your favorite cookbooks with them. We eat with our eyes first, and if your child thinks something looks yummy, they are more inclined to think it tastes yummy, too!
8. Pick at least one day per week to involve your kids in the cooking process.
Sigh… Trust me, I understand how challenging it can be to have little, messy hands in your kitchen when you're merely trying to feed your family. On the nights where your kids aren't making a meal with you (Or if you have children who have absolutely no interest in cooking with you), ask them to come to see, smell, and taste intermittently. I love having my kids come over to investigate what my lemon zest smells like before I make a picatta, or ask them to watch how I can dice an onion with a really sharp knife for guacamole, or see how pretty my purple and yellow carrots are when I come home from the market that make the best carrot fries.
You and your family CAN do this!
